Most likely obvious if you read the title of this post, but today was not that good of a day for me. I will humbly admit I did not feel like a good teacher today. I raised my voice, sent kids to the Time-Out Room, and required silence at times. I tried to offer options and provide incentives for positive behavior, but did more negative reinforcement than anything else. I even tried to explain why I have certain policies and expectations, and that, in real life, I am not a silence Nazi or un-fun, but just the opposite!
I definitely had some of my naiive hopes crushed today as our team experienced some unfortunate events with the students. In my little ol' heart of hearts, I want to think each student has others' interests and feelings in mind, truly wants to succed, and is telling the truth when speaking to me. My heart hurts to think of parents lying to their kids, not making them a prioroty, and any individual not getting the attention they deserve. So many of these kids cry out for attention in any way shape or form, from me, from their peers, from administrators, and it pains me to know they will misbehave and act out to get it. I wish I could spend all day telling these kids how much they are worth, how special they are, and how much they are loved. I wish I could pour my heart into each one of them, one at a time, with no interuptions. I wish I could feed them breakfast, lunch and dinner and never let them go to bed without a full tummy. I wish they could know how important they are, how valuable their thoughts and opinions are, and how much they matter.
I wish with my whole self these kids would sit quietly and work like AP seniors, but, let's be realistic here, they are 12 and 13, and most of them don't know how to even sit still for more than a minute and a half, much less with their mouths closed. I love my job, I am going a little batty, and only some of my kids are failing. Hoping for a better day for all tomorrow, and praying the love of Jesus is shining through my patience (yikes), reactions, and interactions.
From behind the pile of papers to grade...Mrs. Brown [or as too many of them insist on calling me, "Miss"]
9.03.2011
Tips to surviving football season: Chapter 1.
Calling all wives, girlfriends, and other women who are in relationship with football lovers! It is that time again... football season. Dun dun dunnnnnn. I'll admit, I have already tried to change the channel and control the television and been very firmly denied by a football-loving husband. Goodbye Food Network, hello Big 10 Network, ESPN, Huskervision, and fantasy league.
And here's the thing...it is not that I hate all things football or anything like that. I love camaraderie, the coming together for a common cause, hot dogs and chili, everyone wearing the same color, hot dogs, being outside in the fall, and so on...
Anyway, on to the point of this post: I grew up in a world where football was unavoidable and thus have developed a few little tricks to not only staying semi-entertained during a game (or seventy three bagillion games, same dif), but giving the appearance that I actually care and know what is going on.
1. Look the part. Get a couple t-shirts, a sweatshirt, and maybe even a hat, and wear them as often as possible. People will begin to associate you with your team of choice and your significant other and/or bff will be stoked you look like a super-fan.
2. Memorize the game schedule. This is important for a couple reasons: One, you will know when not to make plans or schedule an out-of-town event. Two, you will know what "the guys" are talking about when they refer to "the big game this weekend." And three, you will sound like a super-fan when you mention your excitement for said "big game this weekend" without prompting and your lover and/or bff will be so impressed.
3. Volunteer to host the watch party and make snacks. There are a number of benefits to this as well. First of all, most of your man's best pals like food almost as much as they like football. (At least that's how it is in my world.) This is one of those "if you build it they will come" kind of moments, but more like "if you cook it they will come." Perfect a couple hearty, easy, delicious recipes (such as chili, cheese dip, and a certain type of cookie/brownie treat) and throw those together an hour before the fellas arrive and they'll think you slaved all day over the hot stove for them. Second of all, if you are at home, you can still get most of what you actually need to get done on Saturday finished, while still "spending time with your man" (aka being in the same 900 square-foot vicinity) doing something he loves. Third of all, often with the football-loving-fellas come their lady-friends. Lady-friends = someone to talk to during the game. Lady-friends also love snacks and treats. Lady-friends = other super-fans in disguise.
4. Throw out random facts/names/important information. Sign up for whatever alerts and notifications you can (i.e. @HuskerExtraBC) and memorize a couple of the facts he tweets to throw out in conversation. Then, when your man and his pals are deep in conversation about Taylor Martinez and his expected improvement this season compared to last season, you not only know what the heck they are talking about, but may even have something to "add" to the conversation. Your man will be so proud of his girl and his buds will be impressed. Again, this will give off the appearance that you are a super-fan thus accomplishing your goal.
5. And finally, allow your man to paint your dog for gameday. Do this, and even your dog looks like a super-fan.
And here's the thing...it is not that I hate all things football or anything like that. I love camaraderie, the coming together for a common cause, hot dogs and chili, everyone wearing the same color, hot dogs, being outside in the fall, and so on...
Anyway, on to the point of this post: I grew up in a world where football was unavoidable and thus have developed a few little tricks to not only staying semi-entertained during a game (or seventy three bagillion games, same dif), but giving the appearance that I actually care and know what is going on.
1. Look the part. Get a couple t-shirts, a sweatshirt, and maybe even a hat, and wear them as often as possible. People will begin to associate you with your team of choice and your significant other and/or bff will be stoked you look like a super-fan.
2. Memorize the game schedule. This is important for a couple reasons: One, you will know when not to make plans or schedule an out-of-town event. Two, you will know what "the guys" are talking about when they refer to "the big game this weekend." And three, you will sound like a super-fan when you mention your excitement for said "big game this weekend" without prompting and your lover and/or bff will be so impressed.
3. Volunteer to host the watch party and make snacks. There are a number of benefits to this as well. First of all, most of your man's best pals like food almost as much as they like football. (At least that's how it is in my world.) This is one of those "if you build it they will come" kind of moments, but more like "if you cook it they will come." Perfect a couple hearty, easy, delicious recipes (such as chili, cheese dip, and a certain type of cookie/brownie treat) and throw those together an hour before the fellas arrive and they'll think you slaved all day over the hot stove for them. Second of all, if you are at home, you can still get most of what you actually need to get done on Saturday finished, while still "spending time with your man" (aka being in the same 900 square-foot vicinity) doing something he loves. Third of all, often with the football-loving-fellas come their lady-friends. Lady-friends = someone to talk to during the game. Lady-friends also love snacks and treats. Lady-friends = other super-fans in disguise.
4. Throw out random facts/names/important information. Sign up for whatever alerts and notifications you can (i.e. @HuskerExtraBC) and memorize a couple of the facts he tweets to throw out in conversation. Then, when your man and his pals are deep in conversation about Taylor Martinez and his expected improvement this season compared to last season, you not only know what the heck they are talking about, but may even have something to "add" to the conversation. Your man will be so proud of his girl and his buds will be impressed. Again, this will give off the appearance that you are a super-fan thus accomplishing your goal.
5. And finally, allow your man to paint your dog for gameday. Do this, and even your dog looks like a super-fan.
Third week in the books!
Holy holy cow. I have taught for three weeks! This still seriously blows my mind each day as I go back to my classroom, my students, my team, my lessons, my school. It is still nuts to me that I am a real live teacher.
I have to say one thing that does stink is being that lame friend that has to go to bed early each night. Probably my bad for still living in a town full of people still going to college :/ I'll admit I am jealous many nights as I head for bed and my friends are just beginning to hang out. I love being a full-fledged grown up adult and all, but I sometimes wish all my friends were working full-time everyday too! [Pity party]
Anyway... Another good week full of challenges in seventh grade. I continue to fall in love with their crazy stories, heartbreaking home lives, and naiive mindsets. I love that they ask me to come to their games, listen to my dumb stories, and know that even though I have to yell (ahem, raise my voice) sometimes to get their attention, that I really do care about them. They are driving me insane, talking soo much, making me question all I know and do, and sucking all the energy and life out of me, and yet I feel better about what I am doing right now than ever before. I am exactly where I am supposed to be.
God is teaching me so much now about what it means to plant seeds and love in action and truth. He is teaching me about being a light in the dark and living my faith. God is so alive and real and I pray my love for Him shines through my words and deeds, in my action and especially my reactions.
Praying for my kids; praying for patience, energy, and a positive attitude despite challenges, setbacks, and frustration; and praying people will see Jesus in me each day.
- taking a break from laboring this weekend...Mrs. Brown :)
I have to say one thing that does stink is being that lame friend that has to go to bed early each night. Probably my bad for still living in a town full of people still going to college :/ I'll admit I am jealous many nights as I head for bed and my friends are just beginning to hang out. I love being a full-fledged grown up adult and all, but I sometimes wish all my friends were working full-time everyday too! [Pity party]
Anyway... Another good week full of challenges in seventh grade. I continue to fall in love with their crazy stories, heartbreaking home lives, and naiive mindsets. I love that they ask me to come to their games, listen to my dumb stories, and know that even though I have to yell (ahem, raise my voice) sometimes to get their attention, that I really do care about them. They are driving me insane, talking soo much, making me question all I know and do, and sucking all the energy and life out of me, and yet I feel better about what I am doing right now than ever before. I am exactly where I am supposed to be.
God is teaching me so much now about what it means to plant seeds and love in action and truth. He is teaching me about being a light in the dark and living my faith. God is so alive and real and I pray my love for Him shines through my words and deeds, in my action and especially my reactions.
Praying for my kids; praying for patience, energy, and a positive attitude despite challenges, setbacks, and frustration; and praying people will see Jesus in me each day.
- taking a break from laboring this weekend...Mrs. Brown :)
8.28.2011
Week Two...Check!
Sitting here in my favorite chair taking a quick break from grading papers, recording grades, entering those grades into the computer, and creating a packet of worksheets to work on this coming week. We have our first round of reading formatives, which will take all week to complete, so I am about to get my first taste of the dreaded "testing" dun dun dunnnn...
I am so exhausted, frustrated with my lack of refined teaching skills and abilities (especially my classroom management), and I may have almost cried in front of my third hour last Wednesday (nooo!!). I am tired of asking them to stop talking, tired of repeating my instructions, and already unimpressed by making copies and grading papers.
Gosh but regardless of those not-so-glamorous aspects of this career and this semester thus far, I am still excited each day to go back (early morning and all), and ever more in love with the students I am so blessed to teach. I am broken hearted by so many of the stories I already know of home lives and mistreated 12-year-olds, and hate that there is so much already on the plates of these sweet kids. I continue to remind myself over and over and over that the reason they act out, disrespect me, talk back, complain, and get into trouble is not all their fault and most likely because they have not been shown the love and respect they deserve. I pray so desparately that during the small amount of time I have with them each day that they see how much they are worth and how much they are loved. I hate that so many don't have the childhood and family they each deserve, and hope the love of God is evident as they see that I am different than some of the other adults in their lives. I pray God protects them when they are not at school, and pray that God would create in them a desire to do and be more than what has been modeled to them. I pray my attitude, lifestyle, words, and choices be a direct reflection of the true, real, unconditional love we all so undeservingly are shown by our heavenly father.
God is so good, and I am so blessed. So thankful for friends, family, and an amazing husband to continually encourage and challenge me to be more than I think I am capable. Excited to have another week to learn and grow.
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." -Rom 8:28
"...let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth." -1 John 3:18
- from behing the pile of papers to grade... Mrs. Brown :)
I am so exhausted, frustrated with my lack of refined teaching skills and abilities (especially my classroom management), and I may have almost cried in front of my third hour last Wednesday (nooo!!). I am tired of asking them to stop talking, tired of repeating my instructions, and already unimpressed by making copies and grading papers.
Gosh but regardless of those not-so-glamorous aspects of this career and this semester thus far, I am still excited each day to go back (early morning and all), and ever more in love with the students I am so blessed to teach. I am broken hearted by so many of the stories I already know of home lives and mistreated 12-year-olds, and hate that there is so much already on the plates of these sweet kids. I continue to remind myself over and over and over that the reason they act out, disrespect me, talk back, complain, and get into trouble is not all their fault and most likely because they have not been shown the love and respect they deserve. I pray so desparately that during the small amount of time I have with them each day that they see how much they are worth and how much they are loved. I hate that so many don't have the childhood and family they each deserve, and hope the love of God is evident as they see that I am different than some of the other adults in their lives. I pray God protects them when they are not at school, and pray that God would create in them a desire to do and be more than what has been modeled to them. I pray my attitude, lifestyle, words, and choices be a direct reflection of the true, real, unconditional love we all so undeservingly are shown by our heavenly father.
God is so good, and I am so blessed. So thankful for friends, family, and an amazing husband to continually encourage and challenge me to be more than I think I am capable. Excited to have another week to learn and grow.
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." -Rom 8:28
"...let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth." -1 John 3:18
- from behing the pile of papers to grade... Mrs. Brown :)
8.20.2011
Reflection on my first week as a real live teacher!
Well well well, I am an official, week-old, real live seventh grade teacher. Holy cow!
First of all, I am seriously blown away by the support, encouragement, and help from all the other teachers, administrators, and staff at our school. I have been checked on so many times and given so much non-patronizing help in the last few weeks, and was encouraged so much this week that it will get better! So blessed.
Second of all, holy chattyness. I am sure I was just as talkative at that age (oh wait, still am at this age, oops!), and am trying to stay positive and appreciate that they enjoy being with each other and feel at home enough in my room to act like friends. (The bigger part of me wishes they would sit quietly and listen like little angels, but hopefully with time that will come as well)... =)
Right now my biggest goals are not to help them improve their spelling, become more critical readers, or published authors; my goals are simple: get them to have a more optimistic outlook and positive attitude about being in language arts class, help change their perspective on reading and writing (currently many of them "hate reading and writing" ...so sad!!), and show them that I really care about them!! If they happen to improve their spelling while we're at it...ptL because yiiiikes! ;)
I am exhausted, a tad overwhelmed, but seriously loving it and excited to go back next week!!
Oh and so seriously God has blessed me already so much with a funny, kind, encouraging woman of God to drive with every single day! Yay yay yay, Holly! =)
Happy Saturday, hopefully more to come on seventh grade soon!
- Mrs. Brown =)
First of all, I am seriously blown away by the support, encouragement, and help from all the other teachers, administrators, and staff at our school. I have been checked on so many times and given so much non-patronizing help in the last few weeks, and was encouraged so much this week that it will get better! So blessed.
Second of all, holy chattyness. I am sure I was just as talkative at that age (oh wait, still am at this age, oops!), and am trying to stay positive and appreciate that they enjoy being with each other and feel at home enough in my room to act like friends. (The bigger part of me wishes they would sit quietly and listen like little angels, but hopefully with time that will come as well)... =)
Right now my biggest goals are not to help them improve their spelling, become more critical readers, or published authors; my goals are simple: get them to have a more optimistic outlook and positive attitude about being in language arts class, help change their perspective on reading and writing (currently many of them "hate reading and writing" ...so sad!!), and show them that I really care about them!! If they happen to improve their spelling while we're at it...ptL because yiiiikes! ;)
I am exhausted, a tad overwhelmed, but seriously loving it and excited to go back next week!!
Oh and so seriously God has blessed me already so much with a funny, kind, encouraging woman of God to drive with every single day! Yay yay yay, Holly! =)
Happy Saturday, hopefully more to come on seventh grade soon!
- Mrs. Brown =)
8.13.2011
7.29.2011
Summer of Learning
I feel as though my summer has been jam-packed with challenges and learning. My eyes have been opened to the realness of the Holy Spirit and the overwhelming power of an awesome God. Our first year of marriage has been such a beautiful mess of love and I am just beginning to see how God's unconditional love is so amazingly displayed through Nick.
I have been so blessed this summer to have gone and done so many things and am about to end a chapter of my life take the next step into adulthood on Monday. I am sad to be closing doors on college and childhood, as I have to say goodbye to many of my best friends. I am excited though to see where God takes us and how He uses us in all our ministries. I never imagined how God would use MCC and Manhattan to change and bless my life in so many ways. I am so grateful.
I am scared out of my mind but I very much believe I am being called to the public school and would be settling if I were not doing just this. I pray I can be a vessel filled so much with the light and love of God that it overflows and students, parents, other teachers, see not me but Christ.
So much on my heart and on my mind... God is truly overwhelming me with how awesome He is and I am so thankful.
"He must become greater, I must become less."
I have been so blessed this summer to have gone and done so many things and am about to end a chapter of my life take the next step into adulthood on Monday. I am sad to be closing doors on college and childhood, as I have to say goodbye to many of my best friends. I am excited though to see where God takes us and how He uses us in all our ministries. I never imagined how God would use MCC and Manhattan to change and bless my life in so many ways. I am so grateful.
I am scared out of my mind but I very much believe I am being called to the public school and would be settling if I were not doing just this. I pray I can be a vessel filled so much with the light and love of God that it overflows and students, parents, other teachers, see not me but Christ.
So much on my heart and on my mind... God is truly overwhelming me with how awesome He is and I am so thankful.
"He must become greater, I must become less."
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