atop ol' laundry mountain

Holy laundry, Batman!  Listen here, folks, I am THIS close to having ALL clothes clean at one time!  [that is aside from the clothes currently residing on my person, and Nick's as well]  Which would seem like more of an accomplishment if said clean things were folded and put away... err, dangit.  [I feel like it's my junior year of college and I need to move back into the dorms and start hiding my clothes in the closet for job checks...]  But seriously, WHEN WILL THE LAUNDRY EVER GO AWAY?!!  As soon as it is all clean, we will just start wearing it again!  I am moving to a nude beach.  Then we wont need clothes.

All kidding aside, I am looking for someone to hire...to do my house cleaning and cooking and working out and, wait, shoot, nope wont work either.   Ok, ok, all but the working out part.  Will pay in minor cash amounts and cookies.

1/2 marathon training, yikes.  What if I just run a 1/4 marathon?  I could totally do that!  It is so cold here, and running more than like 4-5 miles on a treadmill is just torture!  I was doing really well with my training until last week when it got all nasty and wintry outside again!  Whatttt the heck.

In more disappointing and depressing news, I found out yesterday I have not been selected for yet another position.  I didn't even get an interview.  Now, not to sound conceited, so please do not hear it that way, but I don't know how to handle all this rejection!  Until Christmastime, to my memory,  I had never been not [note: double-negative intentional] selected for a position for which I applied.  I traditionally over-analyze and stress about applying and do not do so without a good amount of confidence that I am a good choice and have a good chance of getting whatever it is.  [that sentence hardly makes sense]  In the past few months, I have come to realize in real life, you have to take risks, put yourself out there, and when you do that, often you fail. 

People, I want a job!  I am the working type!  As much as I thoroughly adore staying home all day with the Petester and doing laundry and baking and such, puh-lease!  That is fantastic for weekends and evenings, even holidays and random days off, but I CANNOT STAY HOME ANYMORE!  I am driving myself insane with loneliness and boredom!  And I love home!  And watching tv and doing nothing!  And Petee!  But it has come to an end.  My love of being bored.  I NEED TO BE TOO BUSY AGAIN.  I NEED THINGS TO PROCRASTINATE.  I NEED TASKS that don't involve Nick making me a list of chores to get done before he comes home from work [see: Dad/Mom circa every single summer day ever.  Me no likey!]

I am trying desperately to see the plan, His plan.  Trying to cling to the hope that I am promised a future, and trying to believe that He will provide for me and for us.  Having faith in God's timing and plan has traditionally come pretty easily for me, but right now, in the darned waiting place, in the patience-demanding place in which rejection seems to be the only thing worth handing out, I struggle to believe that there is anything else out there.  The big picture is oh so small, and today seems to be the only day.

I am trying to believe I am worth hiring, I am worth having on the team, I am worth taking a risk on [as a new teacher], but it continues to get increasingly more difficult.  I believe God is using this season to teach me to trust, to teach me to wait, to teach me to believe, in His power and in his supremacy. 

"...being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." -Phil 1:6

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?  Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?" -Matt 6:25-26


  1. Girl I totally know how you feel! That was me a year ago and now here I am a first year teacher and rumors are going around about how many teachers will be cut. Yuck! Just when I worked so hard to get this job...I guess I always expected it with the way things in OK are going, but it still really sucks to have to stress about it. Hope you find a job asap and I hope it's at a great school too!

  2. God has His perfect will already set in motion. I know it's hard to be patient. He has a job out there that has Hannah stamped on it already...I know you will be an awesome teacher. I love you & I am praying for you!