Most likely obvious if you read the title of this post, but today was not that good of a day for me. I will humbly admit I did not feel like a good teacher today. I raised my voice, sent kids to the Time-Out Room, and required silence at times. I tried to offer options and provide incentives for positive behavior, but did more negative reinforcement than anything else. I even tried to explain why I have certain policies and expectations, and that, in real life, I am not a silence Nazi or un-fun, but just the opposite!
I definitely had some of my naiive hopes crushed today as our team experienced some unfortunate events with the students. In my little ol' heart of hearts, I want to think each student has others' interests and feelings in mind, truly wants to succed, and is telling the truth when speaking to me. My heart hurts to think of parents lying to their kids, not making them a prioroty, and any individual not getting the attention they deserve. So many of these kids cry out for attention in any way shape or form, from me, from their peers, from administrators, and it pains me to know they will misbehave and act out to get it. I wish I could spend all day telling these kids how much they are worth, how special they are, and how much they are loved. I wish I could pour my heart into each one of them, one at a time, with no interuptions. I wish I could feed them breakfast, lunch and dinner and never let them go to bed without a full tummy. I wish they could know how important they are, how valuable their thoughts and opinions are, and how much they matter.
I wish with my whole self these kids would sit quietly and work like AP seniors, but, let's be realistic here, they are 12 and 13, and most of them don't know how to even sit still for more than a minute and a half, much less with their mouths closed. I love my job, I am going a little batty, and only some of my kids are failing. Hoping for a better day for all tomorrow, and praying the love of Jesus is shining through my patience (yikes), reactions, and interactions.
From behind the pile of papers to grade...Mrs. Brown [or as too many of them insist on calling me, "Miss"]